Studies, research and behind the scenes...
Before i decided to produce my final film, i had done alot of research into other topics. I feel it is important and interesting to share the journey.
I began with wanting to create 'merch' from my illustrations. Such as prints, and tote bags and was even considering a small illustration book.
I wanted to focus on broadening my style, as i was getting too comfortable with the human condition in most of my drawings.
I also wanted to explore photography as my illustrations are based of my friends posing for me.
Before i start any project i mindmap my thoughts, both conscious and unconscious.
They don't have to make sense as it is only planning, and sometimes the most random ideas can spark inspiration for me.
From viewing my mindmap I started off the project wanting to research about fresco paintings, as medieval paintings had many hidden messages in them, often extraterrestrial. I Linked this with ancient Mythology. At the time i was heavily into Ancient Aliens and read the book Chariots of the Gods by Erich Von Daniken.
It links mythology, bible stories and other religions to artifacts found on earth of which can be put together to eventually explain the meaning of life.
In my BTEC Level 3 Art and Design course i studies Bosch and his "Garden of Earthly Delights" (My contextual study of this can be found in the Contextual studies link at the top.)
Many thought Bosch was ahead of his time, and often said to be the first surrealist painter.
His work is extremely intriguing and questionable.
I keep finding there is a link of unexplained parts to medieval paintings such as flying objects.
I began with drawing some of Bosch's characters from his paintings.
I then started to research about the seven deadly sins, as in Medieval times, and also in Mythology, there was always stories about giving in to 'sins.'
Unfortunately, this project was not suppose to be. I had so much inspiration, just no idea on what to create from my findings and recent illustrations.
For a while i was very down. Everybody was starting to create from their plans and i felt like i was back at the beginning.
Because from my first page i wrote i wanted to expore photography, I went to the library and took out a load of books on photography and art. I then found Philippe Halsman.
I then found that Halsman had worked with Dali, my favourite artist! I was so happy and felt like it was finally all happening.
The Duke and Duchess of Windsor (1958)
Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis (1958)
Anthony Perkins(1958)
Before creating a scene, and heading to the studio, i took an old photograph i took from a photo shoot from BTEC and played around with it on Photoshop to try and give it an old black and white look.
The original, once the background had been taken out.
Simple black and white does not give the same effect so i used the Infrared tool, which you can see below.
While exploring into photography, I remembered the egg photograph Dali had done. I remember discussing it with a teacher, and it being the start of life.
Below you can see i started to research about Solitude in the womb.
Very shortly after this i had the idea to create the Seed of Acceptance. Which is why the page is blank.
Dali in an Egg by Philippe Halsman, 1942.
The Seed for Acceptance came from a podcast i was listening to about making friends. It talked about how the roots are your family, the branches are your friends and the leaves are acquaintances. Sometimes the leaves may fall off but new ones will grow and replace them.
At the time of making my FMP i was curious on who i was as a person. Everybody kept asking me what is next? A full time job in London? University?
Everyone around me seemed so sure about themselves and always had an answer for everything.
Until i realized that it's okay to be curious, I am still growing.
The seed is the start of life, and I came from the seed. I reckon i unconsciously began to think this way from literally everything i studied above.
For instance, Dali in the Egg could be the seed?
Accepting who you are is a on going task as we are constantly evolving and growing. I wanted the title to sound dramatic, like an old film i would watch with my Nan and Granddad. Where the title at the beginning of the film was in black and white and would flash onto the screen with a loud orchestra.
Because i was studying 20th Century photography and styles for part of my research, i began to like the style of the Popart and the film posters. I Loved how handmade everything looked, as today film posters are very digital. It felt very humble.
Now that i had a theme for the film, i needed to start to write the story and it's character.
I decided to take a personality test. After all i was about to create a character, a similar version of myself (that i never actually want to admit).
The character i created defiantly comes across as very outgoing and carefree. Lack of self-esteem, inferiority and guilt.
The whole housewife white fence look i went for, where not a hair is out of place, and a full face of makeup and white gloves was meant to "cover up the feeling of sadness and negativity." With a painted smile, you can never see what's underneath...
Definition of inferiority : the condition of being lower in status or quality than another or others.
With later research into Millennials, i feel there is a constant need for them to be competing with everyone.
I was trying so hard not to draw in my old style again, but i did... It shows what some people may feel when looking in the mirror.
The idea of watching your life happen through enclosed objects can make you feel trapped.
Below, i started to create the image of the main character.
Images i found on pinterest that i enjoyed.
I was stuck between having a few personas. In the end i stuck with one to keep it simple.
The next few images are from my diary i kept for notes throughout the project
Using a note book was handy to keep track of my thoughts and to do lists.
