Kriss
In the beginning I wanted to find an actress to play the role of the main character. I then played with the idea of a guy, to reel in the audiences attention, a boy wearing a dress and stage makeup can intriguing than just another pretty girl on the screen.
In the final cut I myself ended up playing most scenes as it was my final major project at college and the story was about me. Looking back I wish I hired an actress as I can't watch the film without feeling embarrassed. In later scenes, we see Kriss playing as the main character with a mirror, however the lighting is so dim you cannot recognize it is a guy acting!
*From my Human condition series of photos project
The running through the woods scene was a scene I had not yet designed. It was difficult for me to think of as i wanted the scene to be her running away from her ego. Many young people, care way too much about the image they are puttng out for others to see, rather than enjoying their life in each moment. Instagram is an amazing example of this. What you see in a photography shared online, is just a cropped version of the bigger picture. Like in ways of seeing, by John Burger, a cropped piece of a painting can alter the entire view and meaning of the paintings true meaning.
Before I start this project I was working on old fresco paintings, and was also interested in producing something around the 7 deadly sins.
In the seed of Acceptance I tried to add all sins to the story.
Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed,Sloth.
Image is normally a strong focus for young millenials. Which is why I wanted to have a binge eating scene, (gluttony) where the main character overeats her feelings with fast food and her entire birthday cake.
The directions for eating was to be very 'caveman' and as a wild animal eating for the first time in days...
After falling asleep after her tragic birthday party, which led to a binge session, the main character grabs her heels and starts to drag herself home.
Direction of traveling home: As if she was drunk, traveling home at 5am from a house party in the summer, stumbling into most things she comes in contact with, mumbling like a caveman.
Pride.
The main character has way to much pride.
In this scene of traveling home, she is feeling sorry for herself. Looking into her reflection of car doors asking herself, 'Why is this happening to me?'
Crossing the road, and pausing in the middle to lift her hand to her forehand and let out a great sigh as if she was in a Hollywood film.
When she makes it home she lights a fire to comfort herself and lights a cigerette. Poses and sighs yet again. Feeling sorry for herself.
While posing around the fireplace, the old television set turns itself on in an eerie switch.
An old dish washing soap advert comes on, with a housewife as the presenter. The video although being an advert about soap, then later talks about not having a hair out of place, and being 'practically perfect in everyway' to have the perfect white fence life.
I hadn't completed the advert scene, but the thought came to me after an exhausting day, I looked in the mirror and was ashamed I looked like that all day. I turned the television on and an advert of perfume came on with a women looking so effortlessly perfect and carefree in every scene she was in.
The last image is how I felt after comparing myself to what I had just seen.
Writing this is 2019 i feel I have matured. Looking back at that memory now I know it's just a marketing trick to pretend that if you buy their product your life will be like the advert.
Back when I was researching, it made me feel like I wasn't living up to how others were living.
Not just women feel like this, it's everybody, it's not just the medias fault to make us feel we should unconsciously compare our lives to others, but it doesn't help. In today's society you cannot walk down the road without an advertisement on a bus stop, or popups on your phone. I can't image how children born in today's society will be when they are teenagers, to of never lived without social media or current technology, and constant bombardment of fake lives. People only show what they want you to see. That's one reason why we compare ourselves so much to others. It's all an exhausting game of life that is not true.
I got this idea of playing around with reflection when looking at a Philippe Halsman book. Unfortunately I cannot find the images I viewed from the book, online, but it was a women using the mirror to show funny half and half versions of her. It reminded me of when at school with the bathroom full length mirrors pretending to 'ride a bike' with half your body.
I had a lot of thought for the mirror as it was a fun way to experiment. I love the idea of having a 1 person date with a milkshake. Unfortunately i could not buy a mirror big enough, with no frame around it. When I hopefully remake the film i want to film all of my ideas i had with this scene.
Below, in the first shot we see the main character drop her phone, not in defeat, but with an attitude that she's forgotton about it, loses connection from her hand, and steps outside the door into the world.
The importance of this scene is to show the disconnecting she is having from her old views of life. The phone slipping out of her hand and not checking to see if the screen has cracked, walking out the door after her unfortunate party. A balloon dog comes onto the scene, almost out of nowhere. Is she going a bit crazy?
She makes her way to the beach, and walks out to the end of the dock.
The piano scene is where the main piece of music was to start playing.
She takes off her heels and places them neatly beside her.
We flash back and forth between multiple scenes to enhance drama. To build up the audiences heart speed. The dock scene is made to seem as if she is committing suicide (see end).
The falling mirrors are important to me and for the story, and I hope to add more images of them. They represent a sort of trapped feeling, and the broken mirrors are playing out scenes of her life, as she walks around them, viewing them confused.
Before she exits her home, the idea was to have her confused and scared of the outside world. The world outside of the fake lives, she constantly views. In multiple scenes I want her to act as a caveman would. Bent down and using her knuckles to travel. Throwing raw meat in defense of this strange world outside. This scene is intended to be silly, but still to the point that she is unsure of the real world outside of social media, and media as a whole.
We are coming to the end of the film, where the main character realises what is going on, she is letting herself give in and be controlled by some sort of game.
In this scene i wanted it to come across and feel like she was about to jump into the sea, to end her life.
Dramatic, shaky shots of her limbs and scared eyes flash on the screen, and shots from the water below looking up at her, where she is suppose to jump.
Right before you think she is about to jump, the camera pans up into the sky, until she is no longer on the screen.
The shot of the dog balloon flying away with a hand letting go is shown, and the music becomes heavier and more fun.
I love this shot of the wig on a helium balloon with the dog in the distance flying away.
What does it even mean? Is she fed up with the character she plays every day?
What does the dog represent? The childish and plastic behavior?
Can it really be childish if plastic is man-made?
The main character then walks away from the scene, leaving behind a representation of her old fake life that she created.
FIN
. . .
Extra...
This woods scene wasn't planned. Because I only drew minimal woods scenes, when we got to the location I came up and practiced a routine for the main characters ego following her.
It was difficult for me to act as there were many dog walkers staring and asking questions. I am not an actress, but wanted to be involved in my last final major project as the story is loosely based on myself, I must admit I felt incredibly sill acting in front of a dog walking audience.
